Poor Britney had more drama last night, getting into a fight with her scary hanger-on/manager Sam Lufti, who proceeded to exchange bizarre text messages with her boyfriend Adnan. (The other paps took pics of the messages.)

Poor Britney had more drama last night, getting into a fight with her scary hanger-on/manager Sam Lufti, who proceeded to exchange bizarre text messages with her boyfriend Adnan. (The other paps took pics of the messages.)

Anyway, things are looking up a bit today because the pop tard reunited with her mommy! Granted, Lynne Spears hasn't been the best mother, but, at least she's an improvement over Britney's usual company.

Also, she was spotted with a Kabbalah book, so she's either reaching out to God, or reaching out to Madonna.

 

 

Britney is back to her old ways again. After a stand off with police and losing custody of her boys, one might think the aging pop tart would check herself into the 'hab, or go back to Louisiana for momma's home cookin'. But, momma don't make fraps like Starbucks can, so Britney's staying put in crazytown.

There are rumors that Britney has ended the relationship with the pap she's been hooking up with. I'm sure his tell-all confession is in the works right now.

Ahhhhh, Britney. When will you learn?

Like, OMG, y'all! Britney's 16-year-old little sister is knocked up!!!!

Shattering her image as "the good one" (although, relatively speaking, she still is), Jamie Lynn Spears has announced that she's with child.

In an interview with OK! Magazine, mini Britney said, "As soon as I found out for sure from the doctor, I took two weeks to myself where I didn't tell anybody," she says. "Only one of my friends knew because I needed to work out what I would do for myself before I let anyone's opinion affect my decision. Then I told my parents and my friends. I was scared, but I had to do what was right for me."

She added, "And, I told my momma I done shook the soda bottle like I's supposed to. I ain't got no knowin' how I's still knocked up!"

Maybe I made that last part up, but, c'mon ya'll, you know she would say that.

The baby daddy is her 19-year-old longtime boyfriend, pictured above.

She and Britney are going to have so much fun ignoring their children together! :)

Brit Brit is our there breakin' laws and breakin' hearts again.

She finally hired a driver, following the judges order that she's not allowed to drive with her boys in the car. However, she's still free to endanger the citizens of L.A. when her boys are with their Daddy. Her latest driving mishap is a series of missed stop signs, caught on tape by Us Weekly.

She has the money, and she already hired a driver. Can't he drive her ALL the time???

I hate driving. If I had even a tiny piece of the Britney Spears cheeto pie, I would have someone drive me EVERYWHERE. How long before Sean P is 16? Mommy needs some help.

Our dear Britney is now limited to seeing her kids three times a week, during monitored visits. Yesterday, during one such visit, she left the kids in the car with the monitor and went shopping for chandeliers.

Surely, this isn't as bad as it sounds. Maybe Brit Brit had some kind of chandelier emergency that just couldn't wait until the next morning. Maybe her current chandelier was hanging dangerously low to the ground and she was actually trying to protect her children from the threat.

Whatever her reasons, I'm guessing the monitor will have something to say about it at her next court visit. Ahhhhhh, Britney.

The latest rumor following our troubled pop tart is that she's going to duet with Oscar the Grouch on an episode of Sesame Street. The word on the street is that they will sing a clean version of her song "Toxic."

Frankly, I think the street that word is on must be in crazy town. There's no way that Sesame Street would let Brit Brit on their show, unless she flashes her crotch while dismounting Snuffalumpagus. That would be a great lesson for the kids.

This is the rumored cover of Britney's new album, due out October 30th.

The release date was moved up after some of the tracks were leaked online. Here's the rumored track list:

Gimme More (04:11)
2. Piece of Me (03:32)
3. Radar (03:49)
4. Break The Ice (03:16)
5. Heaven on Earth (04:52)
6. Get Naked (I Got A Plan)
7. Freakshow (02:55)
8. Toy Soldier (03:21)
9. Hot As Ice (03:16)
10. Ooh Ooh Baby (03:28)
11. Perfect Lover (03:02)
12. Why Should I Be Sad (03:10)

Despite her legal troubles, Britney has been out and about lately, tanning, drinking iced coffee, shopping at every drug store in L.A. and, of course, flashing her goodies.

She's rumored to have reconciled with her mother, but she's oily and troubled as ever, so maybe her mom needs to put more effort into fixing her. =(

Here's Britney, hitting the ladies room at a sub shop. At least she's wearing shoes. =(

Britney Spears will have to submit to random bi-weekly drug testing, a court has ordered. For now, she'll keep 50/50 custody of the mistakes. But, both she and K-Fed have to do some stuff to prove they can step up and, you know, like...be parents.

Here's the list of all the things they have to do:

· Neither Brit nor K-Fed can take Sean and Jayden out of state without the written consent of the other.

· The exes cannot make derogatory statements about each other.

· Both parents must complete the “Parenting Without Conflict” program.

· Each party is restrained from using corporal punishment with the children or allowing anyone else to.

· They are required to engage in joint co-parenting counseling.

· Neither party may consume alcohol or non-prescription controlled substances 12 hours prior to taking custody of the children.

· They must ensure that any prospective childcare professionals hold valid Red Cross infant CPR training.

In addition, Britney has to do some other junk:

· Attend individual counseling at least once a week to address parenting issues.

· Meet with a parenting coach for a minimum of 8 hours a week, in at least two sessions a week. The coach is to observe her parenting skills and her interaction with her sons and provide Federline with a written progress report by October 22.

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Why didn't you rehearse more?
Why didn't you take out your gross old weave?
Why didn't you actually dance?
Why did you give the audience the dead eye?
And, WHY didn't you wear more clothes???

Britney's VMA performance makes my heart hurt. I've never seen someone so sad put on display like that, like some kind of stripper puppet. Make the stripper puppet dance and everyone has a good laugh.

I still believe in you, stripper puppet.

Here are some pics of Brit Brit in L.A. last weekend, letting Spiderman protect her from the photogs. While she's at it, she should also let Spiderman be her new manager, since he has a positive image. And, he could give her some fashion advice since he wears spidey pants, which would be a big improvement. Some veiny spidey pants would bring that top to a whole new level.

Britney hit the town the other day wearing what she evidently thought was a sun dress. However, I'm pretty sure a fashion jury would decree that it's actually a shirt, due to the lack of cheek coverage. Someone buy this poor girl some pants.

K-Fed now claims that Britney gave the kiddos booze to keep them quiet and sleepy.

He didn't officially come out and say it, but someone "leaked" it and, it's in his legal papers, so, he probably did it.

So, now, Britney's being investigated again. I really hope this one isn't true. =(

Rumors still abound about Britney's possible VMA performance. Her magical mystery tool, Criss Angel said he was helping with her performance, but MTV has yet to confirm that such a performance will be taking place.

Also, Timbaland is supposed to be a kind of artistic director of the event, and he commented that he didn't know anything about it. He also made some nasty comment about Brit, like, "Bitch is crazy!" or something like that.

Here's the video of Brit crashing into the parked car.

The woman whose parked car Ms. Spears hit last week has filed a police report against Nutty Pants.

Video shows Spears hitting the car, then, checking her own car to make sure it wasn't damaged before she left to go shopping. She never checked the damage to the other car.

The car owner said, “It’s sad because I was really hoping she’d step up and be a mensch, be a human being. It was simply like my car didn’t matter to her, my inconvenience didn’t matter to her.”

You can read the whole article here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20202467/

Britney hit a parked car this morning. She wasn't drunk, but I would still like to offer her my celebrity driving services.

She could at least ask the photographers for a ride. They're already going where she is!  =)

Two magazines are running with stories of Britney's questionable mothering of her tots.

Us Weekly reports that Brit allegedly gives her kiddies lots of juice, doritos and soda to keep their yaps shut. Supposedly, this has given her older son dental problems already, but her dentist also reportedly refused to whiten Sean Preston's teeth at his mother's request. She also allegedly sends her eldest to fetch her cigarettes for her.

Sadly, I'm sure she's not the only mom in America plying her kids with sugar and having them deliver smokes. But, you would think some nice PR person would tell her to stop.

Britney and Kevin are now officially divorced.

At the moment, they have 50/50 split custody of their kids, and she's paying him $15K a month in child support. But, they are expected to go back to court to fight some more about something.

Where is she getting 15K a month? Is she bringing money in anymore?

OK! Magazine is going to print an expose on our favorite pop tart, after a recent interview and photoshoot that went horribly wrong.

Allegedly, Britney brought her new pooch (London) who pooped all over the set, while Britney talked in baby talk and peed with the door open, for all the crew to see.

She also reportedly couldn't stop touching herself in strange and inappropriate ways.

OK! decided to print a truthful article about the weirdness, rather than the puff piece that was supposed to run. Britney is really lucky that Lindsay got another DUI this week to take some of the spotlight away from her craziness.

When will Justin come back and save her from herself?

On her official website, Brit Brit is calling out for help! She wants the public to help her name her album.

 

 

 

Possible titles include:

1. Omg is like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like

2. What if the Joke is on You

3. Down boy

4. Integrity

5. Dignity

(I didn't make those up. Those are the real choices.)

I'm a little concerned that this woman is raising children. She doesn't really seem to be all there. I hope she has some peeps in her life she can trust.

She should hang out with Angelina Jolie. Angelina would set her right. =)

Technically, she wrote...but she wrote a lot! Yesterday, Brit Brit posted this lengthy letter to her site (take any needed bathroom breaks now, you'll be reading for a while):

Dear Fans,

I just wanted to reach out to all of you and explain some of the things that I have been faced with recently.

It's so funny how many stories are put out there about people. It's like we all want our side of the story out there as well, but at the end of the day only a few people care to hear what is really going on since the bad is always so much more interesting than the truth. I don't know why, but this is so weird to me. I used to be angry at the tabloids for printing horrible things about me, but now I try to just be numb to what I see. I saw Tyra Banks once get really upset and cry on her show because they made her look fat. We all want a certain image of ourselves out there, and at some point we all do really care what other people think or we wouldn't be here.

Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit rock bottom. Till this day I don't think that it was alcohol or depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn't know who to go to. I realized how much energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost.

This letter is to not place blame on anyone, although I do see the world with a completely different set of eyes now. Being in that vulnerable state and taken to dinners and parties with friends and finding out later you paid for everything was a huge learning lesson for me. I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life. You never know another persons[sic] intentions or what another person wants. I feel I was too open and looking for answers when I had it all to begin with. I have had to cut so many people out of my life. It is so sad, because if anyone is a family person...it is me. When I was little I remember every night watching movies with my family and feeling so at peace. Dancing and singing all the time just like a little girl should. Now recently I find with my children that I want them to have that feeling all of the time. I am having to face a lot of things right now since I have children of my own. A lot of insecurities from when I was little are coming up again. It is like we are never good enough.

I know everyone thinks that I am playing the victim, but I am not and I hate what is going on right now so much. Maybe this is the reason for this letter...to maybe allow people to look at me differently. It is like when you are a real woman and say what you feel and how you think things are supposed to be, that people just say you are a "bitch."

I feel like some of the people in my life made more of some issues than was necessary. I also feel like they knew I was beginning to use my brain for a change and cut some ties, so they wanted to be in more control of my life than me. I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce. I think it was a bigger issue because I had not gone out in such a long time.

I am 25 and I do still have a lot to learn, and I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or Good Morning America. I am only human people and I love you for still loving me.

I am sitting here at home and it is 6:25 and both of my sons are asleep. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. Everyday is so surreal. Life in general is so surreal and crazy.

I just hope this letter made some of you think a little bit more of me and where I am coming from. I just want the same things in life that you want...and that is to be happy.

It is just so weird because everyone has their own perception of me and how they think I really am. It is so weird how stories are told. There is your side, my side, and the truth. Somebody has to figure it out. I guess we will never really understand or figure out life completely. That's God's job. I can't wait to meet him...or her.

Love, Britney

Quote of the month...
It is ok to disagree with people regarding certain issues. You're not being true to yourself if you succumb to others opinions because you feel guilty.

 

Ahoy, skanky! Britney arrived for a boat trip, wearing this hot captain's hat. Odd choice, although, I do have to say that her hair almost looks real here. She needs to reveal her kiwi head and let the public pet it.

Seriously, she should rock the pixie cut.  =)

Britney seriously needs to get some anti crazy pills, stat. She went out to a party, once again dressed to the 7-11s. This time, Brit Brit sported a bikini, around a bunch of regularly-clothed people.

Bikini at a pool party = fine

Bikini at your nightly gig as a go-go dancer = fine

Bikini at the local bar for some drinks with your peeps = crazyville

(The pic is from LoveBritney.net -- Check it out, y'all!)

 

Britney had her second mini concert in Anaheim last night. Supposedly, she performed the same handful of songs again, and didn't even mouth the words very well.

I don't get it. I thought a comeback tour was supposed to be triumphant. It sounds like she should have practiced some more, maybe let her hair grow out, write a new song, buy a new stripper outfit. This is not a good sign for her future.