Britney is back to her old ways again. After a stand off with police and losing custody of her boys, one might think the aging pop tart would check herself into the 'hab, or go back to Louisiana for momma's home cookin'. But, momma don't make fraps like Starbucks can, so Britney's staying put in crazytown.

There are rumors that Britney has ended the relationship with the pap she's been hooking up with. I'm sure his tell-all confession is in the works right now.

Ahhhhh, Britney. When will you learn?

Like, OMG, y'all! Britney's 16-year-old little sister is knocked up!!!!

Shattering her image as "the good one" (although, relatively speaking, she still is), Jamie Lynn Spears has announced that she's with child.

In an interview with OK! Magazine, mini Britney said, "As soon as I found out for sure from the doctor, I took two weeks to myself where I didn't tell anybody," she says. "Only one of my friends knew because I needed to work out what I would do for myself before I let anyone's opinion affect my decision. Then I told my parents and my friends. I was scared, but I had to do what was right for me."

She added, "And, I told my momma I done shook the soda bottle like I's supposed to. I ain't got no knowin' how I's still knocked up!"

Maybe I made that last part up, but, c'mon ya'll, you know she would say that.

The baby daddy is her 19-year-old longtime boyfriend, pictured above.

She and Britney are going to have so much fun ignoring their children together! :)

Brit Brit is our there breakin' laws and breakin' hearts again.

She finally hired a driver, following the judges order that she's not allowed to drive with her boys in the car. However, she's still free to endanger the citizens of L.A. when her boys are with their Daddy. Her latest driving mishap is a series of missed stop signs, caught on tape by Us Weekly.

She has the money, and she already hired a driver. Can't he drive her ALL the time???

I hate driving. If I had even a tiny piece of the Britney Spears cheeto pie, I would have someone drive me EVERYWHERE. How long before Sean P is 16? Mommy needs some help.

Our dear Britney is now limited to seeing her kids three times a week, during monitored visits. Yesterday, during one such visit, she left the kids in the car with the monitor and went shopping for chandeliers.

Surely, this isn't as bad as it sounds. Maybe Brit Brit had some kind of chandelier emergency that just couldn't wait until the next morning. Maybe her current chandelier was hanging dangerously low to the ground and she was actually trying to protect her children from the threat.

Whatever her reasons, I'm guessing the monitor will have something to say about it at her next court visit. Ahhhhhh, Britney.

Despite her legal troubles, Britney has been out and about lately, tanning, drinking iced coffee, shopping at every drug store in L.A. and, of course, flashing her goodies.

She's rumored to have reconciled with her mother, but she's oily and troubled as ever, so maybe her mom needs to put more effort into fixing her. =(

Britney hit the town the other day wearing what she evidently thought was a sun dress. However, I'm pretty sure a fashion jury would decree that it's actually a shirt, due to the lack of cheek coverage. Someone buy this poor girl some pants.

K-Fed now claims that Britney gave the kiddos booze to keep them quiet and sleepy.

He didn't officially come out and say it, but someone "leaked" it and, it's in his legal papers, so, he probably did it.

So, now, Britney's being investigated again. I really hope this one isn't true. =(

Britney hit a parked car this morning. She wasn't drunk, but I would still like to offer her my celebrity driving services.

She could at least ask the photographers for a ride. They're already going where she is!  =)

Here's a picture of Britney sporting her latest persona: slutty cowgirl.

Too bad she's not friends with Madonna anymore. She totally needs advice on reinventing yourself from trashy ho to not-as-trashy, older, more mature ho.

Maybe Madonna still has her geisha robes kicking around.