Britney Spears will have to submit to random bi-weekly drug testing, a court has ordered. For now, she'll keep 50/50 custody of the mistakes. But, both she and K-Fed have to do some stuff to prove they can step up and, you know, like...be parents.

Here's the list of all the things they have to do:

· Neither Brit nor K-Fed can take Sean and Jayden out of state without the written consent of the other.

· The exes cannot make derogatory statements about each other.

· Both parents must complete the “Parenting Without Conflict” program.

· Each party is restrained from using corporal punishment with the children or allowing anyone else to.

· They are required to engage in joint co-parenting counseling.

· Neither party may consume alcohol or non-prescription controlled substances 12 hours prior to taking custody of the children.

· They must ensure that any prospective childcare professionals hold valid Red Cross infant CPR training.

In addition, Britney has to do some other junk:

· Attend individual counseling at least once a week to address parenting issues.

· Meet with a parenting coach for a minimum of 8 hours a week, in at least two sessions a week. The coach is to observe her parenting skills and her interaction with her sons and provide Federline with a written progress report by October 22.

K-Fed now claims that Britney gave the kiddos booze to keep them quiet and sleepy.

He didn't officially come out and say it, but someone "leaked" it and, it's in his legal papers, so, he probably did it.

So, now, Britney's being investigated again. I really hope this one isn't true. =(

Britney has reached a divorce settlement with K-Fed that reportedly gives Mr. Federline about $1 million and shared custody. That seems like a fair deal. She's lucky she signed a pre-nup.

She came out of the meeting, looking like a hot grandma going out for a night of bingo. I bet she owns a Bedazzler.

Britney is still on the wagon, she's just not keeping her wagon parked in rehab full-time.

The former pop tart has fled the 'hab on several occasions including a shopping excursion, visits with her kids & K-Fed, and for a couple AA meetings (You'd think they would have those in-house).

Anyhizzle, she's still expected to stay at Promises for a full 30 or 45 days, by which time her bald melon should have blossomed into a fuzzy kiwi. =-)