Poor Britney had more drama last night, getting into a fight with her scary hanger-on/manager Sam Lufti, who proceeded to exchange bizarre text messages with her boyfriend Adnan. (The other paps took pics of the messages.)

Poor Britney had more drama last night, getting into a fight with her scary hanger-on/manager Sam Lufti, who proceeded to exchange bizarre text messages with her boyfriend Adnan. (The other paps took pics of the messages.)

Anyway, things are looking up a bit today because the pop tard reunited with her mommy! Granted, Lynne Spears hasn't been the best mother, but, at least she's an improvement over Britney's usual company.

Also, she was spotted with a Kabbalah book, so she's either reaching out to God, or reaching out to Madonna.

 

 

Like, OMG, y'all! Britney's 16-year-old little sister is knocked up!!!!

Shattering her image as "the good one" (although, relatively speaking, she still is), Jamie Lynn Spears has announced that she's with child.

In an interview with OK! Magazine, mini Britney said, "As soon as I found out for sure from the doctor, I took two weeks to myself where I didn't tell anybody," she says. "Only one of my friends knew because I needed to work out what I would do for myself before I let anyone's opinion affect my decision. Then I told my parents and my friends. I was scared, but I had to do what was right for me."

She added, "And, I told my momma I done shook the soda bottle like I's supposed to. I ain't got no knowin' how I's still knocked up!"

Maybe I made that last part up, but, c'mon ya'll, you know she would say that.

The baby daddy is her 19-year-old longtime boyfriend, pictured above.

She and Britney are going to have so much fun ignoring their children together! :)

Brit Brit is our there breakin' laws and breakin' hearts again.

She finally hired a driver, following the judges order that she's not allowed to drive with her boys in the car. However, she's still free to endanger the citizens of L.A. when her boys are with their Daddy. Her latest driving mishap is a series of missed stop signs, caught on tape by Us Weekly.

She has the money, and she already hired a driver. Can't he drive her ALL the time???

I hate driving. If I had even a tiny piece of the Britney Spears cheeto pie, I would have someone drive me EVERYWHERE. How long before Sean P is 16? Mommy needs some help.

Our dear Britney is now limited to seeing her kids three times a week, during monitored visits. Yesterday, during one such visit, she left the kids in the car with the monitor and went shopping for chandeliers.

Surely, this isn't as bad as it sounds. Maybe Brit Brit had some kind of chandelier emergency that just couldn't wait until the next morning. Maybe her current chandelier was hanging dangerously low to the ground and she was actually trying to protect her children from the threat.

Whatever her reasons, I'm guessing the monitor will have something to say about it at her next court visit. Ahhhhhh, Britney.

The latest rumor following our troubled pop tart is that she's going to duet with Oscar the Grouch on an episode of Sesame Street. The word on the street is that they will sing a clean version of her song "Toxic."

Frankly, I think the street that word is on must be in crazy town. There's no way that Sesame Street would let Brit Brit on their show, unless she flashes her crotch while dismounting Snuffalumpagus. That would be a great lesson for the kids.

Despite her legal troubles, Britney has been out and about lately, tanning, drinking iced coffee, shopping at every drug store in L.A. and, of course, flashing her goodies.

She's rumored to have reconciled with her mother, but she's oily and troubled as ever, so maybe her mom needs to put more effort into fixing her. =(

Here's Britney, hitting the ladies room at a sub shop. At least she's wearing shoes. =(

Britney Spears will have to submit to random bi-weekly drug testing, a court has ordered. For now, she'll keep 50/50 custody of the mistakes. But, both she and K-Fed have to do some stuff to prove they can step up and, you know, like...be parents.

Here's the list of all the things they have to do:

· Neither Brit nor K-Fed can take Sean and Jayden out of state without the written consent of the other.

· The exes cannot make derogatory statements about each other.

· Both parents must complete the “Parenting Without Conflict” program.

· Each party is restrained from using corporal punishment with the children or allowing anyone else to.

· They are required to engage in joint co-parenting counseling.

· Neither party may consume alcohol or non-prescription controlled substances 12 hours prior to taking custody of the children.

· They must ensure that any prospective childcare professionals hold valid Red Cross infant CPR training.

In addition, Britney has to do some other junk:

· Attend individual counseling at least once a week to address parenting issues.

· Meet with a parenting coach for a minimum of 8 hours a week, in at least two sessions a week. The coach is to observe her parenting skills and her interaction with her sons and provide Federline with a written progress report by October 22.

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Why didn't you rehearse more?
Why didn't you take out your gross old weave?
Why didn't you actually dance?
Why did you give the audience the dead eye?
And, WHY didn't you wear more clothes???

Britney's VMA performance makes my heart hurt. I've never seen someone so sad put on display like that, like some kind of stripper puppet. Make the stripper puppet dance and everyone has a good laugh.

I still believe in you, stripper puppet.

Here are some pics of Brit Brit in L.A. last weekend, letting Spiderman protect her from the photogs. While she's at it, she should also let Spiderman be her new manager, since he has a positive image. And, he could give her some fashion advice since he wears spidey pants, which would be a big improvement. Some veiny spidey pants would bring that top to a whole new level.

Britney hit the town the other day wearing what she evidently thought was a sun dress. However, I'm pretty sure a fashion jury would decree that it's actually a shirt, due to the lack of cheek coverage. Someone buy this poor girl some pants.

Here's the video of Brit crashing into the parked car.

The woman whose parked car Ms. Spears hit last week has filed a police report against Nutty Pants.

Video shows Spears hitting the car, then, checking her own car to make sure it wasn't damaged before she left to go shopping. She never checked the damage to the other car.

The car owner said, “It’s sad because I was really hoping she’d step up and be a mensch, be a human being. It was simply like my car didn’t matter to her, my inconvenience didn’t matter to her.”

You can read the whole article here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20202467/

Britney hit a parked car this morning. She wasn't drunk, but I would still like to offer her my celebrity driving services.

She could at least ask the photographers for a ride. They're already going where she is!  =)