WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Why didn't you rehearse more?
Why didn't you take out your gross old weave?
Why didn't you actually dance?
Why did you give the audience the dead eye?
And, WHY didn't you wear more clothes???

Britney's VMA performance makes my heart hurt. I've never seen someone so sad put on display like that, like some kind of stripper puppet. Make the stripper puppet dance and everyone has a good laugh.

I still believe in you, stripper puppet.